To me comparison is the thief of self-esteem.
We have all played that game, yet many of us insist on playing this game even though we know that we are going to lose at the end, and worse, we could lose our self-esteem and confidence.
But Why the Comparison Game is a Losing Proposition?!
When you compare yourself to others, you are not being fare to yourself nor to those whom you are comparing yourself to! What you are doing is, you inevitably comparing the best of them to the worst of yourself – simply because it is the best of them that you see and the worst of yourself you know or vise-versa “which is still a bad thing to do, and I will explain that in a moment”.
At the end of your comparison, you will always wind up feeling either: less-than because you compared your worst to their best, or feeling self-righteous because you’ve compared your best with someone else’s worst. Now, how can be the latter bad? Once you have that feeling of self-righteous and that you are better, it feeds more into this negative cycle, which eventually brings you back to felling less-than. Basically, you are focusing on what you lack which will make you view the world through a lens of scarcity, again, leading to damaging your self-esteem and your confidence in yourself.
That’s when you start to feel like there’s not “enough” to go around for everybody. You will then start telling yourself that there is not enough out there , and in return, that self talk results in the false belief that you’re not enough
What good does it do to compare our sufferings or others which is at the end means we are trying to validate why a certain circumstance in our life is better or worse than the others just so that we can have that feeling of fake security!! Comparing our struggles doesn’t do us any good because what it actually does is it takes the focus off the many blessings we do have instead.
No one is perfect, and we all have real struggles and real hurts in our lives. So, instead of comparing and trying to validating our own pain, let’s instead offer compassion and empathy. I promise you , you will feel happier and more confident with strong self-esteem.
So, how to stop playing the comparison game?
First, don’t beat yourself up when you find yourself playing this game. We all do it. But, next time you find yourself caught up in the comparison game, you can fight it back by implementing some small practices into your life:
– keeping a gratitude journal where you write in it once a day, a week or even once a month the things that you are grateful for in your life.
– Identify and list your highest held values
– Finally, and once you have identified your value, start setting goals that go along with those values of yours.
Once you get in the habit of doing that, I guarantee that you won’t have any reason to even think about what anyone else has.
Count your blessings!
So, what are your top 3 values?
What goals can you set to honor those values in your life?
Let me know in the comments below!